Being around people my age who are so passionate about God has been a spiritual refreshment! I've been blessed through this conference that I'd attended the past 3 days down in Chiangrai. It's nice to be pulled away from normal daily work and be studying His word. The messages have been simple but powerful- hits home.
Encouraged through our small group prayer times and challenged to really examine myself and make sure that I'm trusting Jesus in my everyday life! Am I daily taking up my cross and following Jesus? Denying my own desires, interest, preferences? I guess the answer should be revealed by what kind of life I live and who's orders and interest I follow. Nothing else on earth should capture my attention or fulfill my desires like Jesus should. "Whom have I in heaven but you? and besides You, I desire nothing on earth." Psalm 73:25.
Last night as I lie in bed reflecting on all that was taught, I asked God to reveal to me any discontent in my heart. His question came, one that only my heart could hear "Am I enough for you?" ah yesh... it has been the longings for a 'someone', the struggle with loneliness. It is every woman's dream to be loved by a devoted man. Will my time ever come? Don't want to sound like I'm complaining. But maybe I am. I try my best to fight against this feeling but sometimes my heart is weary.
As I expressed all these, God showed me that HE was that someone. I need to learn to delight in being a bride of Christ first. “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence. O my God, my soul is in despair within me; therefore I remember You…” Psalms 42:5-6
I want to always answer Him, "yes, dear Father, you are more than enough for me..."
5 comments:
my dear girl... you are barely 20 and u still have lots of time! every time u feel a tinge of loneliness and desire for a man to love you, why not pray for those who are in their 30s and are still searching for one? they feel loneliness more than you do. just say a little prayer that God will give them strength for the day, to focus on Him and not on the circumstances(or pp ard them with babies for that matter!), and a desire to trust His timing and sovereignty to guide and to provide. God bless!
i never did think of that! what a wonderful suggestion! not that i know many in their 30s but it'll just help me focus on others and not my pity party! thank you :) btw, care to leave your name?
Hey Lydia,
I was recently going through a hard time in my life in that area as well. One thing that helped me was to reread a book called
"Falling in Love with Jesus". It's such a great book! I'll try and remember to bring my copy with me so you can read it. (If you want to, that is:)
Love, Kitti
yeshh I would, I've got another book I'd like you to help me get from the States. Will email you about it!
Hey Lydia! So you are at collage! I'm so glad you have a blog so we can find out what you've been doing. I hope you have a very blessed time there.
I know I'm commenting on an "old post" now, but I just was looking around on your blog and wanted to mention I really enjoyed your thoughts in this article. I think you expressed what we all often feel, and gave great answers. I like what you wrote about "searching your heart for discontentment" -- something we all should do frequently (and purpose to "give thanks" instead!)
Hope to see you again before too long!
Lots of love!
Grace
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